How to stop worrying about judgement of others

Many of you no doubt feel that life would be a lot easier if you didn’t worry what people thought about you so much. This is natural, as it’s important to humans to feel like they are part of a pack we’re genetically programmed to care what those around us think of us, and as a result we may change our behaviour in order to blend in.

What makes us worry what other people think of us?
We are made up of two parts: the conscious part, which is rational and logical, and the subconscious, the primitive part, which is in charge 90% of the time. When you begin to worry what people think of you, your subconscious is pattern matching so as to protect you from harm. If it finds a match, a call-to-action is sent back, meaning you might freeze or become speechless, or develop the urge to run out of the room. This is known as the fight, flight, freeze response.

So, how to avoid worrying about what other people think? Here are a few simple techniques which may help:

1. Deflection
We all live our own lives and respond to things in different ways, so try envisioning yourself in your own little bubble and allow anything approaching it to just bounce off. If somebody says something negative that you think could be about you, deflect it before you allow it to enter your head.

2. Distraction
Your subconscious is trying to keep you safe from stuff around you, meaning it’s constantly weighing up threats in your environment to protect you from getting hurt. Therefore, when you feel like someone is looking at you in a strange way, your subconscious kicks in to make you fret about what you might have done wrong and how you can take action to avoid being hurt. From now on, try doing something to distract your subconscious, such as dancing or going for a run, before it can take action.

3. Transformation
Your head is full of stuff. Throughout the day it builds up, causing your own thoughts to fight for space with your reactions to what’s taking place around you. If you are constantly worrying what other people think, you leave no space for your own thoughts, which causes emotional outbursts, forgetfulness and procrastination amongst other things. You should be constantly clearing out the workspace in your brain by letting these thoughts in, then visualising them leave again.

With practice, you can really reduce the amount you allow others to control how you see yourself. So what are you waiting for? Get started now!